October 13, 2008

Arbitrary Milestones

One of the young scientists at the Lab got married last weekend. At the wedding, they poured a very nice non-vintage blanc de blanc for the toast. I was impressed. But it got me thinking. Champagne has achieved one of the greatest victories in marketing history. Right up there with de Beer's telling you a marriage isn't official without a diamond. Can you imagine a wedding without Champagne? Or New Year's Eve? The Champagne producers have us by the goblets. And it's primarily the industrial/generic, Grand Marque Champagnes who have our goblets clenched in their fat, velvet gloved fists.

Rational Denial, we think it's time to fight back. Our plan is risky. Counter-intuitive, even. Our chance of success is small. But we are an intrepid group (didn't we just drink rancid Merlot to improve our wine knowledge?) so we are charging forward fearlessly.

And what's our plan? We're going to drink Champagne to celebrate arbitrary milestones. Simple isn't it? You kinda wish you thought of it, don't you.

What's an arbitrary milestone? Well, say you weren't killed in traffic today; we'll drink to that. Your kid just attended his 12th birthday party this year; pop a cork! (by the way, we hit that arbitrary milestone at my house sometime mid-February; my next cause may be an open assault on the little kid birthday mafia). Your shoelace is untied but you didn't trip; bottom's up! The more arbitrary the better.

We're hoping this will serve to de-emphasize the constrictor's grip that Big Brand Champagne has on our idea of celebration. So we're going to drink grower and artisan Champagne for barely any reason at all and hope this serves to invert our celebratory imagination.

This happens to be our 68th Lab Report. So we're going to celebrate that barely significant fact in style. I'll let you know tomorrow what we grabbed from the Lab cellar.

Cheers to just about anything!

© Mikhail Kokhanchikov | Dreamstime.com )


Peter Liem said...

Yes! I'm all for it. Here's to celebrating your post — I'll toast you as I finish my lunchtime glass of Chartogne-Taillet Rosé.

Duke of Hurl said...

I've been drinking Champagne without purpose for years. One of my favorite ways to "get down" is to forgo the glass and carry an entire bottle of Veuve around a good party drinking directly from the bottle.

You would expect disapproving looks but I am normally greeted with statements like "why didn't I think of that?" Nothing screams decadence like rocking the bottle as if it were a large Sapporo.

BTW - the old proofreader in me noticed a little faux pas. After "Right up" their has hijacked there...

Chief of Lab Research said...

Thanks for stopping by Peter. I've actually footnoted a piece of yours in today's post! And both seem worthy of busting out the NV Geoffroy that's been nagging at me from the cellar. Cheers!

And Duke, rocking the bottle like a large Sapporo is a fantastic idea. But I need to graduate you off the Veuve. I can hook a brother up with something shiny and very terrific that costs less. And ps. I always welcome editorial help. Gracias.

duke of hurl said...

I welcome your recommendations. Veuve is like Houston's restaurant - it isn't great but damn it's consistent. Don't worry about the price - I have a man on the inside... You would be surprised how many cases "fall off the truck." Never pay retail!